The callous indifference shown by the central govt. of India towards Kerala makes me think that’s its high time that Kerala break away from the sanctified union of Indian states and become an independent country. There are many reasons for me to think that my argument is justified. Kerala’s treasury is dry and the State Govt. is finding it difficult to dispense salaries. I feel this is a part of the Hindutva agenda, a conspiracy of the Modi govt. to demoralize and deteriorate a legitimate democratic govt. of Kerala that is democratic. The next Luciferic thing that the central govt. did was to freeze all the accounts of the Kerala cooperative banks. This has put millions of people in jeopardy, especially the poor farmers of Kerala who have their income in cooperative banks. When the ministers of Kerala tried to meet Mr. Modi, the b****** refused to even see them. If Kerala breaks away from the Indian union and becomes an independent country, it can reach the aspirations of a developed country like Singapore. Kerala is very strong in Tourism, IT and its many ports can do business like an advanced country like Singapore. Some people of Kerala are so boorish that they don’t allow an international airport to come in a place called Aranmula. Fortunately I live very close to that place. I imagine I am carrying passport of Kerala. As an independent country with strong Marxist affiliation, Kerala can become a developed country in five years of time. Kerala can become stronger, and economically affluent than its counterpart India. The aim of the Modi govt. is to saffronize India and make it a Hindu country. Modi, is a govt. which disrespects secularism, freedom and democracy. Mr. Modi the cow is not a f****** holy Goddess for me. Mr. Modi, I refuse to pay homage to the Sun by doing Yoga. I am fiercely independent, democratic and liberal. The Marxist govt. of Kerala can do very well and transform Kerala as an independent country as a Shangri-La of the East.
The Kerala High Court is a pompous, arrogant bastard. It has opened fire from its dragon tongue and induced a draconian policy of closing down liquor outlets within 1500 meters of the main road. Why the f*** is it bothered to do so? The place where I used to buy booze is now closed. The only outlet is now situated in a remote place. When a court ostracizes legitimate democratic rights, it becomes a stinker bum displaying tyranny and autocracy. Drinking is a personal right and freedom of a citizen in a democracy. To relax with a drink after a hard day of work, gives great mental satisfaction. A court’s duty is to be just and fair in interpreting laws. When a court passes draconian decisions like these, it is overstepping its boundaries and making the citizens of a democracy its slaves.
A Mallu Achayan is a typical stereotyped middle class Syrian Christian Male from Kerala. They are paradoxically pious and hypocritical. They are pro-churchians when it comes to the church and will womanize given an opportunity. This Mallu Achayan is a dentist friend of mine. While cleaning my teeth, I told him that I had a significant other in the Philippines. He became very agitated and said that I must be careful and must take precautions. He said: ‘please take a DNA sample of all her children and make sure they are not yours’. ‘What would happen if she comes to your house with her children? You will be royally screwed’. Continue the affair if you want, but make your position safe and secure.’ He also asked me: ‘what’s the guarantee that she is not sleeping with others and he laughed, a sinister wicked laugh’.
I being in a remote village, Kurianoor in Kerala have no access to buying a good calligraphic pen. From my web-search, I have found the German Rotring is the best. It costs a hundred bucks. I am keen to explore Asemic writing a form of non-phonetic writing. Truth being stranger than fiction, I put my desire of owning one to the public. If you are kind enough, please be a fictional self and grant me this wish. On the other hand if you are living in reality ignore this as quixotic. You can mail it to me at:
This request is stranger as a truth and truthful as a stranger to fiction.
This is the Onam Festival Bumper brought out by the Kerala State. It carries whooping bumper prize of 80 Million Indian Rupees. On the ticket is the dear and adored King of Kerala, Mahabali, who was duped by a God that was jealous of his prosperity as a King. King Mahabali will grant any wish to his subjects. God appeared in the form of a dwarf and asked him a wish. When the wish was granted God grew into a giant and stamped on the entire King’s territory. Then God asked him again for more. King Mahabali put his own head in sacrifice but he asked for a boon from God that being able to visit his subjects every year. That became Onam. People light lamps for the auspicious welcoming of King Mahabali. I being the humblest subject light a metaphoric lamp for King Mahabali this Onam 2016 and ask the boon from Mahabali that I will be the luckiest in the Bumper Lottery Draw. The picture of the snake boat depicts that snake boat races are held during the month of Onam.
Dear Chief Minister Comrade Pinaray Vijayan,
Your left front victory in Kerala State Assembly elections is a turning tide of victory. Traven Puck also voted for your party. I hope that after your victory, you will change the anti-democratic, bourgeoisie liquor policy of the previous Congress govt. to restrict the consumption of alcohol to Five Star Hotels and also to phase out alcohol by the closing down of beverage outlets. Traven Puck of Kerala is a guzzler. Being middle-class, he cannot afford to go to five-star outlets. One looses all dignity when one stands in the Serpentine queue outside beverage outlets. It’s Traven Puck’s plea that you will open more beverage outlets. Kerala being a tourist hot-spot will lose its clientele if your government follows the alcohol policy of the previous, eccentric Congress government. I hope your government will represent the happiness of the proletariat. It is never said in Das Capital that drinking is a shame, sin or taboo. It’s essential that a middle class man should relax after a hard day’s work. Even Biblical books like the Bible are permissive for drinking. ‘Drink but not get drunk’, says the Bible. It’s a shame that alcohol consumption is privileged for the bourgeoisie. Alcohol is easily available in black in states like Gujarat which have banned alcohol. Traven Puck has noted the statement of Minister Thomas Isaac that the present alcohol policy is unscientific. One reason for my casting of vote for the left was that you will be liberal on alcohol. Give the right of democracy for the tipplers in Kerala State.
Kerala a favorite tourist hot-spot is also known as God’s Own Country is one of the fifty destinations to be visited as per National Geography. Kerala is famous for its monsoon or rainy season. The high pressure surrounding the Arabian Sea flings the South Western monsoon on to the shores of Kerala. This is called as the burst of the monsoon. The monsoon begins in June when schools start. It’s an angelic sight to see the children rushing to schools, wearing raincoats or enveloped by umbrellas. Rain water forms rills and flows through the roads like echoes of poetry. Children float paper boats in the water. Cruising through the backwaters of Kerala, it’s a sight to see paddy fields being bathed by water. A water permeated bird, thoroughly drenched, stands on the branch as music, so beautifully enjoying the feeling of falling rain. If one walks on the road, one can see a sea of umbrellas. Rivers overflow their music and flood the roads. I welcome the readers to visit Kerala during the monsoon.
A (Mallu) is satirized name for a Malayali, a native of God’s Own Country, Kerala. Mallus are culturally and notoriously famous for PARA. A PARA is a cultural symptom where the speaker indulges in harmful gossip and demeans the person who is spoken about. For example a lady in the postal department might gossip to the wife of her colleague that he is flirting and sleeping with an office mate. Most Mallus are para-maniacs. Most middle class mallus love to show off their ostentation. Gold is a fascination and a much desired cultural artifact by most Mallus. When Mallus get their daughters married off, the deck them gold thick as those chains adorned by a ferocious Rottweiler. Pentecostal Mallus don’t wear gold but still they go to all extent to make their marriages posh. They hire posh cars, Audis, Mercs and Jaguars to transport the bride and groom. Most Mallus flock to the shores of the Middle East or America or Canada to become rich. A curious phenomenon is that they don’t adapt to the culture even though they get citizenship. They carry their churches, temples and mosques with them. But the new generation Mallus are different. Some new generation Mallus are Jesus Freaks. They are so horrendous, culturally intolerant of the other. The New Generation Mallus are changing and are adapting to the zeitgeist.
Aranmula is a place near to my village. Originally it was a paddy field. Aranmula is also a place where a historic Hindu temple is located. The government had a plan to construct an International Airport there. But the plan was shelved due to environmental and religious reasons. The religious reasons are eccentric. What if the people poop and urinate while the plane is flying over the temple. That will be a religious transgression. Some people are so zany that they think that poop and urine will fall out of the plane on to the temple.