Darling Mig, I feel so wounded and helpless my darling would be wife, my dearest soul, my loving friend. I have disappointed you many times and I feel sick and tired in myself. I long to settle down with you and lead a life with a person who can understand me thick and thin. I don’t know why it is taking so long a time. I have failed you many a time; I have made promises which I have not been able to keep. I feel like kissing your feet and telling you, how sorry I am. My job in Surabaya was lost, as Jenny took me to the mental hospital by crafty subterfuge. At least in Surabaya, I was able to support you in a small way and that too when I was in Gandhi Memorial School. There are moments in my life, when I long for a pat on my back, a handshake, a hug, a caress, a whisper of love. Yes, my love you have done that to me many times, in our short sojourn in KL. I was so happy when you pecked my cheek, while we were descending down on the lift. Such small acts fill me with so much gratitude. Though, I am rational, I am so much of an emotional body. I need to be filled constantly with acts of assurance. I remember that after the tortuous cyber seminar, you took me to the room and kissed, and nibbled my lips. I felt so loved when I fondled your thighs by uplifting your skirt. Yes, my darling Mig, I feel that life and the cosmos have not given us a chance to meet by chance. There’s definitely a fulfilling purpose to it. Though we have been born in middle class families, we have outgrown the symptom of being middle class. I am so happy that you like me, appreciate the higher nuances of art, literature, culture and philosophy. I am so thrilled that you support my ambition of becoming an artist-novelist. I am so overwhelmed that you a have borne my angst and you have provided succor to elevate me out of it. Even when you become angry with me or abuse me, I like it all the more, and I love you all the more. My darling, KL nights last in me as a beautiful music, as an erotic poem. I reminisce how beautifully we have made love; it’s as if, you know by magic, what my body is, the way my body is, the way it feels and you blend yourself to it in rhythmic magic. Yes my darling, I long to see you in KL on Nov 15 2015 and celebrate your birthday, share with you a garden of conversations, make music in the magic of loving erotica.
I hope I can publish it.
Your loving Anand