A Mallu Achayan is a typical stereotyped middle class Syrian Christian Male from Kerala. They are paradoxically pious and hypocritical. They are pro-churchians when it comes to the church and will womanize given an opportunity. This Mallu Achayan is a dentist friend of mine. While cleaning my teeth, I told him that I had a significant other in the Philippines. He became very agitated and said that I must be careful and must take precautions. He said: ‘please take a DNA sample of all her children and make sure they are not yours’. ‘What would happen if she comes to your house with her children? You will be royally screwed’. Continue the affair if you want, but make your position safe and secure.’ He also asked me: ‘what’s the guarantee that she is not sleeping with others and he laughed, a sinister wicked laugh’.