Convent is a bourgeosiscized word in the Indian cultural scenario. Bourgeosiscized means a level of cultural sophistication that only the Western World can give. From its conception of having a Catholic stature, it has become a hybrid in the cultural scenario. What does Convent mean in the Indian cultural sense? It means to have good education in a reputed English Medium School. Why? Brides when they put matrimonial ads. write: Wanted a handsome Convent Educated youth from an Aristocratic Family for a convent educated aristocratic girl. Convent and speaking good English have become synonymous with each other. What has been started by the nuns and fathers as convent schools have slowly, culturally drained into Hindu schools. Thus today we can see Hindu convent schools with idols of Hindu Gods placed in it. This kind of cultural snobbery is most peculiar to India. By the way, I am not convent educated. It’s a peculiar cultural notion of Indians to associate good English with a convent.
A (Mallu) is satirized name for a Malayali, a native of God’s Own Country, Kerala. Mallus are culturally and notoriously famous for PARA. A PARA is a cultural symptom where the speaker indulges in harmful gossip and demeans the person who is spoken about. For example a lady in the postal department might gossip to the wife of her colleague that he is flirting and sleeping with an office mate. Most Mallus are para-maniacs. Most middle class mallus love to show off their ostentation. Gold is a fascination and a much desired cultural artifact by most Mallus. When Mallus get their daughters married off, the deck them gold thick as those chains adorned by a ferocious Rottweiler. Pentecostal Mallus don’t wear gold but still they go to all extent to make their marriages posh. They hire posh cars, Audis, Mercs and Jaguars to transport the bride and groom. Most Mallus flock to the shores of the Middle East or America or Canada to become rich. A curious phenomenon is that they don’t adapt to the culture even though they get citizenship. They carry their churches, temples and mosques with them. But the new generation Mallus are different. Some new generation Mallus are Jesus Freaks. They are so horrendous, culturally intolerant of the other. The New Generation Mallus are changing and are adapting to the zeitgeist.
Hybridization is a term introduced to culture by Homi Baba a literary theorist. It refers to a cultural assimilation of foreign elements into a native culture. Music is a classic example. Cultural hybridization can also occur in reverse when a foreign culture assimilates native elements. A classic example of is the cross carved from stone adopted by the Catholic and Orthodox churches in India. Oil is put in a lamp and it’s placed in the grooves of the stone. This is a cultural adaption from the stone carvings of the Linga, or the Phallus of God Shiva. So hybridization can be adoption of foreign elements with a native one or its reverse adoption of native elements to a foreign culture.
They are also a minority community in India. I happened to read their quirky behavior. A 10th grade public exam was held in the state of Kerala. The parents of a child who is a Seventh Day Adventist moved the court and obtained sanction to write the exam in the evening after the holy hours were over. The child was quarantined and kept in a separate room since the exam started in the morning. This kind of religious intoxication is bewildering, strange and fanatic. The moot question is that whether these communities are culturally integrated into the social fabric of democracy.
I was very surprised when I typed Bollywood in Microsoft and a red line appeared underneath. Bollywood so popular in India is unknown to Microsoft. That’s a kind of lexical prejudice. Bollywood is the notorious film industry of India and ironically ruled over by the KHANS who are its superstars and they are a vicious coterie and generally permit no outsiders. It’s very difficult for a Christian even if he or she is highly talented to become a Bollywood Superstar. The KHANS live in sprawling mansions, drive super luxury cars and have a mad Indian public licking their asses. I get very offended when my twitter account brings forth names of the Bollywood stars so that I can follow them. It’s no surprise that one of the Khans in twitter has 14 million followers. The KHANS by the gaze of the camera are being catapulted into the fetish of super-sensory addiction. I am very sorry to say that Bollywood is plagued by an obsolete, decadent romanticism and most movies are spiced up with steamy, masala (mixture of vegetables, here a kitsch mixture) of gaudy film songs. I have become numb to addictive gaze of the camera and I treat its depictions with sores of a cultural wound. Movies in India are made for the masses who have no leanings for art, culture, literature or philosophy. It’s ironic that an average middle class Indian seldom ventures outside the vicinity of his or her dwelling and a single film song of a Bollywood is shot in multiple locations in different foreign countries. When I see images of foreign countries I am filled with existential rancor and gloom as I have no opportunity to explore new places and expose and encounter myself to cultures which will further stimulate my passionate zeal to write. Though I am so fond of Art, I till today did not get the opportunity to visit my loved art galleries of the world. The Indian middle class is caught up in the imbecility of a fetish for pseudo cultural masochism. It’s no surprise that the Bollywood stars, the KHANS have been photographed with Indian Godfather, Dawood Ibrahim of the underworld. The KHANS attend ceremonies of Dawood in the Middle East in secret. Where does the money to fuel the staggering cost of making these films come from? There’s an unholy and diabolic nexus between the Bollywood film industry and the Indian underworld. The Indian Godfather Dawood Ibrahim is the most wanted man in India. He has masterminded Indian bomb blasts and is responsible for many killings. The Indian government has not been successful in extraditing him from Pakistan where he is offered a cozy and homely refuge. It’s a known mystery that a prominent private airline of India is funded by him and the chairman of those airlines is a proxy. The mass entertainment industry of India, the Bollywood film industry is washed in the money of criminals whose hands are tainted by blood.
Humanism was once upon a time elevated and exalted and it meant: the central focus of thought was the essence to be human, the concern for the human, the very concern of being human. What I would like to do in this essay narrative is to blend the Marxian concept of ‘dialectical materialism’ and translate its conceptions to a discourse of thinking which can be called as dialectical materialistic humanism. Through the modes operandi of dialectical materialistic humanism, I would like humanize various discourses and philosophical strands of thought.
First of all I would like to give a brief idea of dialectics and its evolution in the history of thought. Dialectics for the Greek Philosophers meant the surgicalization of reason that is freeing reason from error and to then arrive finally at a consensus of truth. For Hegel dialectics meant the breakdown of concept of reason into a thesis and then to arrive at an antithesis and finally come to a conclusion that’s a synthesis. Marx further radicalized the Hegelian concept of dialectics He grounded dialectics into the materiality of production that is how production was owned and controlled by the capitalist to make profits and how the economics of exploitation created the working class who themselves had no means to consume the finished product but to accept subservient wages and lead an impoverished life. For Marx it was this economic base that created—in Althusserian terms, the ideological apparatuses of the state like law, religion, police force and even the political machinery. What Marx did not anticipate was: the communist revolution of Russia overthrew the monarchy but to a tragic irony, the communist apparatchik became an ideological apparatus in itself.
I would like to theoritize dialectical materialist in various existing discourses and bring out newer modes of philosophical conceptions. Now what would dialectical materialist humanism mean? I would like to use various philosophical discourses and situate them within the arena of dialectical materialist humanism. Dialectical materialist humanism would take the centers of the individual on whom ideologies, production, consumption, distribution, needs and desires can be built upon.
Philosophical discourse of Economics would have to humanize the conceptions of production, consumption and distribution as Economic activities to a democracy of want satisfaction of the majority. Money’s function as a medium of exchange should shift its praxis to money becoming a democratic necessity for satisfying needs. The class consciousness of the proletarians and the bourgeoisie should become diminished in role and acquire a new realm of ontology that is a classless society. The working class should be able to consume the resources they produce. Money should acquire a distributive function of being distributed freely to serve welfare. Once the working class is elevated there would be a new class consciousness of eco-democratic-consciousness.
Next I would like to explain dialectical-materialist-humanism in the philosophy of political discourse. The boundaries of nations should converge as a United Nations of one in essence and many in plurality. Diplomacy, negotiation and dialogue should be the manner of developing mutualism of democratic bonhomie. Cultures should be celebrated and differences should be tolerated. Global citizens should have the right to free travel and travel should become visa less. The notion of war and weapons should become old books that are no longer pragmatic for the existence of nations. Within the United Nations individual nations should function as entities of cultures.
Next I would like to explicate the working dialectical-materialist-humanism in Philosophical ontology. The individual’s subjective, poetic irrational experience should be lived to the fullest triumph of individuality. There should be the caress of passion, an ethos of catharsis in the beatitude of every experience. The individual should also direct an autonomous reason of democracy in his or her conduct or relationships with others. The being can live in autonomous states of passion, reason, affirmation, negation varying between realms of dialogues and discourses. The freedom to enjoy, participate and experience different orientations should be democratized by all humanistic societies. Life has to be celebrated and lived to the fullest hedonism.
Imageience is a neologism for a culture that has become so dependent on images. Whether be it for entertainment, or for networking we are becoming addicted to the proliferation of images. We have to be prompted to be asking the questions, are we losing our individuality and our creative thinking by adhering to influx of images masquerading our lives. Children are the worst hit by this cataclysm. Nowadays children don’t even have time to play. By the time the school bell rings they rush home and are quickly on to their tablets and laptops addicted to games. Their very identities are constructed through virtual role playing models. For example, I have been able witness my niece open her tablet and go a boutique house. There she spends hours decorating the Barbie doll with headgear, clothes and shoes. She also paints the room. She spends endless hours in repeating the same procedure. It’s shocking that the media is constructing her feminity. Though she is an artist, now days she spends very little time on her hobby. Boys on the other hand are deeply engaged in masculine games. There are games which openly used violence, murder. Are these virtually constructed models of the masculine and the feminine ideal for democracies? Again role playing is strictly based on cutout gender. Is this helpful for growing minds and ages? Children need to develop their individuality creatively and intellectually. The space given for them to understand aesthetic and cultural artifacts is minimal. It’s sad to say that we are producing a media fed youth who virtizens (virtual and citizens) who become dull stereotypes of a society that has gone culturally flaccid. Through the proliferating images ejaculated by the media, do we have a chance to exercise independence of thought? Many a time we become victims of media produced opinion. We fail to think that the media is a news producing factory. Let’s take the case of the financial turmoil in Greece. All of the media were glaring about the problems of Greece and to a full extent supporting the harsh measures on Greece dictated by the dominant powers of European Union like Germany. Nobody lend a sympathetic arm to Greece. We all know from Keynes that an economy facing recession can be resuscitated by injection of money. It’s questionable whether Economic subjugation of a financially beleaguered country like Greece by the European powers that are dominant stands in good health of a union that wants to unify Europe culturally and to a later extent politically. Again going on into social networking, it’s a very worse panorama that enslaves us. We are becoming thoughtless, addicted slaves of a burgeoning nexus of simulation. Most of the people that I have on Face Book remain to this day virtual strangers. I am crippled to this day in Face Book and I have not been able to develop a single qualitative meaningful relationship. There are seconds, minutes and hours and days I have spent in ardently reading the profiles of strangers and writing endless comments. The response that I get is that of a dead corpse. The social networking media is wasting my time, a time that I could have spent meaningfully like talking a walk, gardening, mingling with pets are chit chatting with real colleagues.
Aladdin'sLamp, Alif Lailah, Bacchanalian, Balladine, Ballsapp, Ballsbergers, Book of life, Burlesque, Capitalism, Cardiknell Verocious, Carnal, Central Idiot's Agency, CIA, Colonel Ishamel Sack, Communist, Concubine, Concubines, Cubepista, Culture, Destabilization, Devaluation, Dollar, Erotica, Gigolonia, God, Hagar, Hamham, Hornyduras, Humor, Isloom, Itany, Lieutenant Ycoob, moolah, North Coral South Coral, Penetron, Penistan, Perveronsky, Politics, Pop, Post Modern Fiction, Post modern literature, President Sadam Salamasala, resort orgy, Ribald, Satire, Scroogniski, Sheik BinKasheem BinAbdull, Short Fiction, Short Story, Subversion, Swizz Bank, Terroritoria, The Bug, Tutkey, UR, URAH, Virgin, yacoob
All interceptions are translated by the decoding machine: Penetron located in the headquarters of the CIA Central Idiots Agency.
From the Country Penistan: An intercept of midnight conversations between President Scrooginsky and his wife Ms. Scrooginsky
Ms. Scrooginski:“Turn on the porn on….let me get aroused!
President Scroogeinsky taps on the keyboard and a porn site opens.
Ms. Scrooginsky: ‘Wow soooo delicious I am getting horny’….Lift me darling on to the bed and strip me like a slut’.
President Scrooginski: Yes my honey ….here I go!
Ms. Scrooginski: Lick me lasciviously!‘Glug Glug Glug….Slurp Slurp Slurp…..ooooooh aaaaaah I am coming like a tsunami in the ocean’
Ms. Scrooginsky moans and grunts as she reaches the peak of orgasm.
‘Now penetrate me!’
Mr. Scrooginski ‘Wait a minute darling….fondle me a bit….let it get hard….
Ms. Scrooginsky: ‘My hubby, is it nice?…here, I am lip-and-tongue-sucking-it…….Honey why are you still limp and not becoming hard?
Mr. Scrooginsky: ‘Honey I am not getting aroused. I wish I was like the executed stud President Sadam Salamasala in bed with his concubines…. I wish you could have slept with him. He would have been rock hard in penetration. It’s sad that I had to execute him for the greater glory of Capitalism. Wait dear let me try Ballsapp the new pill to give penis virility’ ‘Darling I am devastated: my A K 47 is limp, fragile and unwilling.
Ms. Scrooginsky: ‘Honey please do understand; I will go lesbian with Ms Cuntistick the President of Femilasia’. I will please myself and pleasure her to rituals of erotic ecstasy.
Mr. Scrooginsky: ‘By all means go ahead dear darling honey. We have to dollarize that impoverished country. At home, our currency has scant value and our economy is billions of dollars in deficit. It is our subversive strategy of making all countries to be monetary friendly as the dollar. We are also becoming rich by selling arms to the fanatics and terrorists who want to establish a new country called Sacred Tutkey. We are not in the agenda of destabilizing nations but it’s happening due to our greed and hypocrisy wanting to be rich gluttons of authority, wealth and ownership. Honey are you done…. or do you want another feast?’
Ms. Scrooginsky: ‘oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum grunting and groaning and teasing the dick of the President with her toes finally ecstasies into the pussy gobbling mouth of the President. I am done dear President. Can you please tell me why you opened diplomacy and bonhomie with your foe and erstwhile neighboring country Cubepista?’
Mr. Scrooginsky: Smiling wickedly and muttering to Ms. Scrooginsky. ‘My darling, that’s a long story. That is because my honey I wanted to own Aladdin’s Magic Lamp of riches. I have stashed great chunks of moolah into Swizz bank. After retirement we need lots dough to live an ostentatious life.’
Ms. Scrooginsky: ‘You are a perverted genius politician I admire you though you don’t have a hard on. Your flaccid status is so similar to the state of our economy which is deep down in the dumps.’
Mr. Scrooginsky: ‘Whether it is communist or capitalist all nations are hungry for the dollar of our currency. Do you know honey darling it is our Central Idiot’s Agency that is keeping the countries North Coral and South Coral divided. Darling I have a confession to make. I was gay with the President of North Coral and my cunnilingus sent oodles of joy into his heart and he has promised to keep his country always divided with South Coral.’
Ms. Scrooginsky: ‘What? I am so surprised. Are you really gay? Laughing…. Yes my hub, you should also help me go lesbian with all prominent bankers, diplomats and industrialists of prominent and notorious countries if they are women. I am in the process of thinking of starting a secret cult called the Ballsbergers. Every year we will invite Presidents, Bankers, Industrialists and intellectuals and meet at the snow clad resort of Orgy. We will have orgiastic rituals like those of Satyr, Bacchus and Maenads. Oomph….I am licking my tongue in delicacy’. Yes my darling you will make Penistan a global power and you will be controlling all nations with the whip of subservity.’
Mr. Scrooginsky: ‘Darling I have great admiration for your brains. You are really a blue stocking. Come let me eat you once more to ecstatic delicacy of satisfaction’.
There ends the first Intercept. The second intercept is from the Country of Itany. It is based on the soliloquy of Pop who is the ecclesiastical head of the head of the State.
Pop is in a confessional mode of thought.
Pop in his bedroom confessing to the Virgin
Pop: ‘I am so sorry Virgin and God. My carnal nature has overpowered me. Will you forgive me and please leave a place for me in Heaven and in the ethereal book of life. I am a painter at heart and I love to paint nudes copulating in the throes of various lewd sexual positions. Here is the entire paintings heavenly father. I also love masturbating while painting and also after painting. I am crying in tears. Will you please forgive me gracious father and have mercy on me. Not only that I used to frequently have sex with the maid and also be gay with Cardiknell Verocious. Will my sins be forgiven? Though my body is the temple of Jezebel but yet I have kept my heart crystal clear for you? Dear gracious Father and dear Virgin I also humbly request you to speak to the hearts and souls of Cardiknells so that after my death they will canonize me.
There ends the Second Intercept. The third intercept takes place in the would -be country Terroritoria.
Colonel Ishmael Sack is the overall head of operations, logistics and intelligence of would-be country Terroritoria.
Colonel Ishmael Sack: Hey brutes: ‘Where is my favorite Bactrian camel Alif Lailah. Bring it here. Have you bought the missionaries for excecution? Please also bring a ladder. You know I have to reach the buttocks of Camel Alif Lailah. It’s the apt time now since I have a hard-on.
Lieutenant Yacoob: ‘Here is the Camel Sir. The missionaries are ready to be executed. They are all evangelists from the Country Penistan. My sword Isloom is ready. The muezzin is reading from the sacred text UR.’
All of the devotees of Colonel Ishmael Sack chant from prayers from the sacred text UR. Then all of a sudden Colonel Ishmael Sack’s concubine Hagar does a strip tease act. This is also prescribed in the sacred text of UR. As blood from the cut necks of the missionaries from Penistan spill over, Colonel Ishmael Sack mounts on the ladder and when he reaches the ass of the camel, he in glee inserts himself and starts to copulate. All the devotees chant sacrificially: ‘Our God URAH URAH be praised. We will receive a reward from URAH in heaven for waging a holy war KURK against infidels would-be Country Terroritoria.
There ends the third intercept. The fourth Intercept is taking place in country Oilphagy.
Sheik BinKasheem Binabdull speaks to the President of Penistan over the phone.
Sheik BinKasheem Binabdull: ‘Mr. President Scrooginsky. You must keep your promise of sending me young studs for my harem Gigolonia. Are they young? Are they delicious? My mouth is watering and my groin in thirsting. Mr. President, I will remain true to my word and peg my country’s currency Hamham at much lower rate that your currency. Since our Country is oil rich, I assure you that all transactions of oil will be done strictly on the basis of your country’s currency. Please keep in mind your promise of supplying us with more armaments.’
Mr. Scrooginsky: ‘I assure you my promise will be kept. The studs will arrive by the evening flight. I hope you will have gala time with them. But I also command you to peg your currency with ours with the rate that was originally quoted by me. You have to cooperate because you have no other go.’
Sheik BinKasheem Binabdull Meekly and submissively: ‘Mr. President, by all means I accede to your demands.’
There ends the fourth intercept. The fifth intercept is taking place in the Country Hornyduras. The cocaine drug Baron Pervernosky is conversing to his assistant who is handling overseas covert operations of Cocaine in the Country Penistan.
Baron Pervernosky: ‘Has the shipment arrived? Why is my whore angel Balladine flaunting herself in the magazine Playbody? I command you to slit her throat. How much have you paid the officials of the country Penistan? If they don’t yield, murder them. By the way I have deposited your reward in Swizz bank under your pen name Mr. Lotus.
There ends the fifth intercept.
The Syrian Christian families of Kerala consist of Malankara Syrian Catholic, Cananaya, Orthodox Jacobite and the Marthomites. Although they are very traditional many of them are slowly breaking out of their religious mould and becoming new generation Christians in most Jesus freak churches having a Pentecostal mode of worship. I too due to cursed luck or the ugly position of the stars have been born in a traditional Syrian Christian Family. But mentally I have broken all the cultural orthodoxies of tradition by Hellenizing my mind with literature, art, culture, philosophy and music that’s mostly Occidental.
The mindset of a traditional Syrian Christian is one of exaggerated pride especially when it comes to their racial origin. All of them don’t want to be identified with the lower strata of society, the Dalits, the socially challenged class. There are two strands of thought and belief about the origin of Syrian Christians. One is that they were upper class Hindus or Nampoothris. And the legend is the famous St. Thomas, disciple of Jesus Christ came to the shores of Kerala and baptized these upper class Hindus and proselytized them to Christianity. Legend has it that St. Thomas spend a long sojourn of his time in Kerala and was martyred at ST. Thomas Mount in Chennai in India.
Another group of Syrian Christians called the Cananites of Kerala flaunt their racial muscles and identify themselves to be descendents of Kanayithomman who from Syria landed at Kannur. They are very peculiar about their racial purity and seldom intermarry with other Christian communities. But I am sure that Knaithomman and his followers would have intermarried and inbreeded with other races of Kerala. The modern generations Cananites are slowly breaking the vow of being married in the same community. Another curious feature is Syrian Christians of Kerala intermarry but rarely marry into new generation churches especially Pentecostal churches. Another curious phenomenon of proselytization is that nascent Christian converts rarely join the Syrian Christian feathers. The exodus of new Christian converts has been to new generation Christian Churches.
Well said and done most Syrian Christians are die hard materialists but orthodox and pious when it comes to tradition. They respect Christian clergy and observe the rituals of the church to utmost piety. But this kind of adherence is hypocritical but exceptions are there. The clergy especially the Bishops of Syrian Christian churches lead an ostentatious life style using luxury cars and living in palatial mansions. Though they are not allowed to marry most them keep secret mistresses.
Financial security is the bank of these assholes. During early times, they prided themselves as planters. Many affluent Syrian Christian families used to own sprawling rubber, tea and spice estates. Some of them became traders especially textile and gold merchants. However this trend is changing now. The modern Syrian Christians are slowly migrating to foreign pastures as IT professionals and Doctors. They earn, hoard miserly and spend their stinking riches in Kerala conducting princely weddings which have thousands of people and buying super luxury cars. They also give lavishly to the church. Syrian Christians blend money, church, and family as ideal isms to be imbibed and followed.
However when it comes to Art, Literature and Philosophy or a weltanschauung which involves highly developed individuality the Syrian Christian lags behind. He or she neither mimics the Occident nor adapts the Occident. Their only contribution to Art and Culture has been the paltry Margam Kali, a dance which is a hybrid of Kerala’s Thiruvathira dance which portrays Christian ideals. The Syrian Christians as a cultural baggage reveal worst of the East with Money obtained from the West. Suppose a Syrian Christian tries to Hellenize himself with Occidental Literature, Philosophy, Music or Art they will ostracize him from their society or even go to the extent of proclaiming him as being mad.
I as a Syrian Christian shun it leave it as a snake shedding its skin. From a theistic Christian I have grown to agnosticism and then to hard core existential atheism. In an absurd and chaotic world which refuses to yield any sort of meaning one has to avoid suicide and yet authenticate one’s own experiences. Yes I am so fond of Western literature, Philosophy and Art all offering my being a lifeline of living sumptuously so that I can avoid my personal sorrows, failures and misfortunes. I am sure my persistence for Hellenic sublimity and yet never forgetting my Philistine moorings will offer me a life of bliss with new opportunities and new shores of destiny.
From the Fish Mouth is a new idiom, I procured while reading the gospels. It is based on Jesus Christ’s saying to his disciple Peter when confronted with the problem of taxes. Yes, Jesus lived a reckless and vagabond life not taking care for materialistic pleasures. But under the Roman rule it was mandatory to pay taxes. Jesus said to Peter: “Go to the Fish and take what comes from its mouth.” And that was how Jesus made the prophetic statement: “Give unto me what is mine and unto Caesar what is his.” Even though this is theistic and a crux for Christianity: The Idiom Fish Mouth will blend well in secular literature.
As an Idiom, Fish Mouth means, obtaining money from unexpected sources.
Here are some sentences: I am anticipating a Fish Mouth during my periods of financial drought.
She was lucky enough to be enjoying the fruits of the Fish Mouth.
Longing For Palestine
Longing for Palestine is an idiom which I identify with scattered, marginalized and dispossessed people of Palestine.
Longing for Palestine as an idiom means: a people wanting to experience democracy, liberty, equality cultural freedom and financial independence.
Here is an example:
In my desert of a financial Diaspora, I long for the Palestine.
All Tibetans are longing for the Palestine under the autocratic regime of China.